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Hypnobirthing with Aimee logo
Hypnobirthing with Aimee logo

Don't be a sh*tty birth partner! Role of your birth partner.

How often do we see on TV the birth partner waiting outside the labour room pacing the corridors looking like a spare part? Sadly, this impression of the birth partners role is often portrayed as normality and is actually highly offensive to those who take an active role in supporting their partner whilst giving birth!

Ross Geller lying on a birthing bed, legs in stirrups.
Don't be a sh*tty birth partner! Learn from Ross's mistakes!

As the person giving birth, we want our birth partners to be AT our side and ON our side. Not merely mopping our brow but having practised and prepared for the big day as much as we have. We want them to be informed and educated about what pain relief options we have, the pros and cons for induction, the best possible birthing positions, we want them to have written our birth plans with us, we want them to protect our birthing space to keep it calm and as free from disruption as possible. The list goes on!


However, only 1% of new mums-to-be complete a birth preparation course and I’d bet that the amount of birth partners also attending this course is even lower.


Don’t be a sh*tty birth partner!

Believe it or not, there is so much a birth partner can do to influence how mum feels and how baby enters this world. Here are just some of the important roles a birth partner has in supporting us mums-to-be:

  • Master meditator - Learning, practising and initiating using good breathing techniques to help you stay calm and focused

  • Masseuse – using soft-touch to help you remain relaxed, comfortable and full of oxytocin while in your third trimester, but also in labour too

  • Ultimate hospital bag packer - making sure they know exactly where everything is and can grab it quick as a flash

  • Chef – preparing and batch cooking nutritious meals form once baby arrives to help you keep your energy up with just a few minutes in the microwave

  • Oxytocin generator – during labour this should be their priority, making you laugh, smile, feel loved, feel comfortable, relaxed and calm. All of which will help your labour progress more smoothly.

  • Chief communicator – they can be the one to call the hospital, answer questions about what you’d like, advocate on your behalf so you are able to stay in the zone and focus on your breathing

  • Interior designer – as soon as you get into your birthing room, they should get to work dimming the lights, putting on your playlist, and generally making the room a safe and comfortable space where you can relax.

Now remember, it doesn’t just have to be your life partner or the baby’s father that is your birth partner. You might choose to have your own mum there, or a friend instead.


Remember that you want people on your birthing team that are going to make this process more relaxing, that will support you physically and emotionally and who are on your side and will advocate for you too. Sometimes your first choice isn’t always the best choice. The last thing you want is your birth partner feinting at the mere suggestion of a vaginal examination or blood test.


So I guess the moral of this story is that if you involve the right birth partner in the whole process from completing a Hypnobirthing course together, practising together and birthing your baby together, you’re setting yourself up for a pretty incredible birth experience ♡

Don't forget that my Birth Basics Masterclass is running on Saturday 2nd March and the role of the birth partner is an integral component of what we go through. Check out the details here. Limited spaces available and the price goes up on 1st March. Don't miss out!

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